I've calmed down a bit (just) since my last entry. I went back into it and cleaned up my language, which just was not appropriate. One of my bad habits is that my mouth (keyboard) can get way from me when I am really, really angry.
I'm still furious with myself for what I've allowed, but I am going to channel that anger into something productive: vengeance.
That's right: I will have my revenge on the lard I'm now carrying around by by learning from this experience and attaining the goals that I keep talking about but never working toward.
After I take my shower, I am sitting down with my BFL book and my laptop and laying out a strict structure and regimen for reaching my goal. If that's what it takes, then that's what I'll do.
I can do one of two things: I can wallow in anger and self-pity/depression, or I can turn this around to stoke the flames of desire for change.
I refuse to bow to the negative voices of self-pity and depression. I am aflame right now, and this will help drive the engine of my (re)transformation. October 6 is the deadline. Let's get going!
