A teacher in a small Vermont town asks her class how many of them are John Kerry fans.

Not really knowing what a John Kerry fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy. The teacher asks little Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Johnny says, "I'm not a John Kerry fan."

The teacher says, "Why aren't you a John Kerry fan?"

I found this in an e-mail from a friend:

We believe in the United Nations, and Kofi Annan, the maker of international legitimacy.

We believe that the UN inspections worked.
We believe that SCUD missiles fired at U.S. troops minutes after the war began doesn't change anything;
We believe that 3 liters of sarin gas used against U.S. troops doesn't change anything;
We believe that finding evidence of mustard gas doesn't change anything.

We believe that the war in Iraq conducted by a Republican president was unjustified because it lacked UN approval;
We believe that the "military action" in Kosovo conducted by a Democratic president was justified without UN approval.

Don't tell me the photog got that one by accident.

It's official: The putative Democrat nominees are going steady:

Drudge has a tongue-in-cheek report on the "touchy-feely" duo.

1. You believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding.

2. You believe that the same school system that can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach those same kids all about sex.

3. You believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

I'm unable to ascertain whether or not this is true, but it's certainly believable:

Did you hear what the troops were calling the Sikorsky Blackhawk which Hillary used to tour Iraq?

Broomstick One.

via The Command Post

...that Google has been around since 1960? I didn't. Click here for an illustration of what it was like back then.

It's amazing what you can learn on the Internet.

via Dean's World

I found this bit of hilarity in the comments for this post at the Emperor's Blog. Comments don't have a permalink, so I quote it herewith in its entirety:

But Devildog, if you were a perfect Christian your comments would be boring, unless you could work in an interesting angle.

"And now I turn to the lesson from Exodus, in which we find ....*sips water* 'Take no offense from he that hath spammed you, nor ban his IP, but instead rejoice, for your message is read by the trolls so that their minds may receive wisdom and the Lord's message. And he sayeth 'Into each blog some troll droppings must fall, and they fall on good blogs and bad blogs alike, each in their measure, as God wills them to spread their spam each unto one another.'

For as we can read in the first chapter of Luke 'Behold this man, though he is a troll, he seeks guidance and wisdom, though originally he was Googling up advice on pet grooming, yet lo he has arrived and commented, and in his comment seek to understand him...."

And now if we will all refresh our screens, and click our Paypal buttons...

Praise blogs to whom all webrings go;
Praise hints and features we all know;
Praise hits we love on heavy linked post;
Praise blogs we run on local hosts;
A-men.

Oh, and check out the rest of his site as well; his language can get kinda salty, but he's got some good stuff.

If you aren't a geek, or don't know one, just skip this post.

11. What Would [Steve] Jobs Do?
10. If you hit me, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
9. This car did the Kessel Run.
8. Honk if you hate Microsoft
7. If you can read this, I'm not playing Halo.
6. Robot in disguise
5. Caution: War Driver
4. My other car is a 3D-rendered model of a Ferrari on Need For Speed.
3. This is all I could afford after modding my computer.
2. How's my driver? Call 0x00000000
1. If this van is rocking, I'm having an asthma attack.

via Geek Press

In editing the Quote of the Day, my spellchecker offered the word 'dunce' in place of DNC. Heh.

First catching her on-camera telling the reporter to "shove it," now this
. . . I think that this is the part where I would just go home and crawl back under the covers . . . permanently.

As soon as I saw the Kerry photographs at Kennedy Space Center, I knew someone would work their PhotoShop magic on them. Not surprisingly, Allah is first out of the gate with this entry:

Click the pic for a full-sized image. The ketchup bottle is an especially nice touch, I think.

via Hugh Hewitt

I've seen this before, but it's been a while, and it's worth sharing:

1.. The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem ... bust his chops.

2.. When you witness firsthand someone burning the American flag in protest...bust their chops...

CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his record sixth Tour de France title. In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room. The three substances, all banned by the French, were:

(1) Toothpaste
(2) Deodorant
(3) Soap

The French officials also found several other items in Lance's possession which they had never seen before including a testicle and a backbone. . .

. . . sitting in the barber shop, when in walked G.W. Bush, followed moments later by John Kerry. Somehow, they ended up in the same barber shop for a shave and a haircut.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Kerry was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife Teresa will smell that and think that I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to President Bush and said, How about you,sir?" Bush replied, "Go ahead. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

Ba-dum-ching!